Why Listening Matters to Women in Business
“Just listen!” How many times as women have we heard, or said that phrase? And what are we really asking for at that moment? “Just see me.” “Just understand me.” “Just let me know I matter.” But here’s the thing, we, as human beings, aren’t the best listeners. Yes, we can hear people but listening, especially empathetic listening, is more than that and it’s something not all of us are able to get. When Erin Snow founded the Seacoast Listening Lounge, it wasn’t just a business venture for her- it was the creation of a safe space she had been longing for. Erin had been working as a paralegal for over 16 years and worked with many domestic violence survivors. In her work with them she uncovered a challenging and heartbreaking theme: many of these clients, who had endured unimaginable acts of abuse often felt unheard, despite sharing their experiences with friends, family, and attorneys. Their words were spoken and their stories shared, but no one was truly listening. As a survivor of childhood abuse, this was a pattern Erin knew all too well, so speak out and not be heard. During her divorce during COVID Erin felt that pattern emerge again, not wanting to burden loved ones or be judged by friends, she kept silent during a painful time knowing she wouldn’t receive what she really needed, someone to listen to her, nonjudgementally and with a safe space.
From these deeply personal and painful experiences, Erin decided to create something beautiful: a business where women could talk and feel genuinely heard, many of them, for the first time.
Why Listening Matters to Women in Business
Erin’s story is a reminder for us, especially as women in business, of the power of empathetic and compassionate listening. Too often, we’ve been conditioned to problem-solve, or “fix,” or to immediately respond with solutions. In our goal oriented world, listening is often reduced to waiting for our turn to speak. And this can be confusing when, as entrepreneurs, we’ve been told to find the problem and let our business become the solution to that problem. But there is a difference in believing in your product or service and a force of good and solving a very real problem, to letting your “pitch” be about telling someone what their problem is and how you’ll solve it, to listening them talk about what their problem is and truly empathizing around their pain point.
When you are engaged in empathetic listening, it requires you to slow down, set aside justement or an eagerness to solve the problem, and simply hold space for another person. We as humans have a fundamental need to feel like we belong and like we are recognized for who we are and what we have gone through. When someone feels heard, you are not just acknowledging their words. You’re affirming their worth. You’re saying, ”What you have to say matters, and you matter.”
If you’re a woman in leadership, this can be exceptionally powerful. Listening well to your employees can build trust, loyalty, and stronger teams. Not to mention solidify your reputation as an employer who truly cares about their employees’ well-being. Listening well to your clients strengthen relationships and can lead to more meaningful partnerships. People can feel when you’re just waiting to jump into the conversation rather than really being invested in what they have to say. At its core, business is about people-and people thrive when they feel seen and valued.
How You Can Cultivate Empathetic Listening Skills
In order to become better empathetic listening we need to reframe how we approach conversations. That requires us, instead of assuming we know what the other person wants, to ask, “How do you want me to listen to you?” There are often two responses and you can either wait for that person’s response or offer one of these two choices:
- Do you want me to simply hear and acknowledge?
- Would you like me to respond and offer feedback?
Even just asking the question can transform a conversation. It helps to ensure that the other person receives exactly what they need most in that moment- whether it’s validation support, or practical input.
While having someone to listen to us is invaluable, sometimes that just isn’t accessible when we need it. A few practices we can utilize to help us process our own thoughts and gain some clarity until we can access some of that safe space with another individual include: journaling, taking a walk, or meditating. These can all serve as check-ins that reinforce your understanding that your voice matters, and you matter.
As members of the Women’s Business League, we know the strength that comes from connection. So let’s live by Erin’s example and be better listeners, not just to increase sales or land that big client, but to ensure our loved ones, colleagues, and friends feel safe, heard, and understood. By doing so we not only create stronger businesses, but stronger communities.
Because at the end of the day, being heard is more than a conversation. It’s a reminder that we matter.
WOMEN’S BUSINESS LEAGUE (WBL) IS A COMMUNITY WHERE POWERHOUSE WOMEN CONNECT, GROW AND PROSPER.
We are dedicated to giving our incredible members the visibility, support, and opportunities to grow and thrive. Interested in learning more? Click the link below to explore our membership options.
Melissa Gilbo
Founder and CEO