Recognizing Leadership in Yourself

True leadership isn’t about what the nameplate on your desk says, whether or not you have the loudest voice in the room, or if you dictate the work of 10, 20, 30 employees. In fact, some of the most impactful leaders are those who never really saw themselves as leaders, until one day, they did.

Lorraine Connell spent 20 years teaching high school chemistry. When she realized that wasn’t the content that lit her up, she turned to a coach who got her to focus in on what did. Watching her students push through hard things, grow in confidence, and leave her classroom not just with knowledge- but with resilience. Over the years Lorraine was empowering her students to lead themselves, even though that wasn’t consciously what she was doing. 

Despite being a teacher, a coach, a business owner, and mom, Lorraine never claimed to be a “leader.” And that mattered, because if she couldn’t call herself a leader, how could anyone else around her believe they were one either? We start businesses. We juggle schedules, decisions, strategy, and deep inner work all the time. Many of us have put our hearts, our money, and our time into creating something meaningful. And yet, so many of us hesitate to describe ourselves as leaders, just like Lorraine. But here’s the truth, if you’re making decisions for yourself and your business- you are already a leader.

No one outside of you needs to give you permission to be a leader. There is no badge to earn, no title you must reach to be a leader. Whether you have a team of 20 or you’re a solopreneur wearing all the hats- you are leading. You’re navigating unknowns, showing up, and figuring it out in real time. You. Are. A. Leader. And once you embrace that, you not only change your path- you show everyone around you what’s possible for them too. So why do we hesitate to take on this title? Because we have all absorbed messages, whether we were explicitly told or just observed in our environment, about what a true “leader” looks like. We’ve often had thoughts like, “I’m not extroverted enough to lead.” “Leaders don’t make mistakes, if I make mistakes I can’t be a leader.” “I don’t have a team. A leader needs someone to lead.” “ Leaders are born. I’m just not a born leader.” When we don’t see ourselves fit that “leader” mold we stay small. We stay quiet. And we wait for someone else to tell us it’s okay to step into that role. Yet, leadership isn’t about never making a mistake or managing a large team, it’s about courage and choice. 

Every decision you make in your business, from sending an email to launching a new product, is an act of leadership. The more you can own that identity and weave into the fabric of your being, the more confidently you’ll navigate through life’s, and businesses’, ups and downs.

There’s another dangerous myth that can haunt the dark corners of a female entrepreneur’s mind. “Leaders don’t make mistakes.” It’s one that the members of Peers not Fears, Connell’s leadership program for teens and adolescents, face all the time. They see students put on a pedestal and labeled leaders and then, once they make a mistake, that title is taken from them. What Connell does is remind them of a very important lesson, one we can all use a reminder of from time to time. Failure is part of growth. If we treated every mistake, every error, as proof that we’re not cut out for leadership, we’d never move forward. You don’t become a leader by attaining some goddess-like state of perfection. You become a leader by showing up, figuring it out, adapting when needed, and then getting ready to do it all again the next day. That is what real leadership looks like.

So go ahead and give yourself the green light to become a leader. Because guess what? No one else is going to. No one is going to hand you your “leadership crown” and tell you, “You’re ready now.” You have to say it first and that’s where the shift happens. When you start owning your own leadership skills, you trust your decisions more deeply. You stop being like you have to justify yourself to every business partner and every client. And you inspire other women to step into that role alongside you. 

Take a moment. Call yourself a leader. Say it out loud. And then act like a woman who already believes it’s true. Because it is. The next time you question whether or not you’re ready to be a leader, remind yourself that you already are. And the more you can sit in that identity. Not just for your business but for yourself- the deeper your impact becomes. We see your strength, your passion, and your mission, and everyone else deserves to see it as well. Surround yourself with the women who are ready to see you come into your own and rise. We’ll be ready to cheer you on all the way.